


Cry For You

by Markipoo



Series: Cry for Us [2]
Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Bottom Im Jaebum | JB, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Im Jaebum | JB, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape Aftermath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2020-12-14 01:56:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21007802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Markipoo/pseuds/Markipoo
Summary: Sequel to 'Cry for Me'They wanted to move past it, forget it ever happened. But maybe pretending it never happened wasn't the best solution. Maybe they needed to rely on each other, share the burden, and support one another through it all.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to make this into a series. I can't promise anything, but I'll try to update regularly.
> 
> *I nickname the man (the person who kept them captive) "the man" and the place they were forced into "the cage".

“Say the word, Jaebum,” Jinyoung promises for what might be the fifth time, although Jaebum has been trying not to keep track. “All you have to do is say ‘stop,’ say anything-”

“I know,” Jaebum interrupts, trying to keep the agitation out of his voice. “I got it.” He wants to tell him to stop saying because the more he says it, the more wrong this all feels, strange and different than it was before. And Jaebum just wants normal and safe, to have some semblance of control back in his life. The _man_ took a lot of things from him in the _ cage_, but Jaebum is strong enough to take those things back. Or maybe he’s just tired of being broken, and he wants some way to claw out of this hole he’s been stuck in. If he can do this, it’s another stone to put in front of him, something he can stand on until he can put another one down and eventually have enough to cross the pool of misery he’s been stuck in since this all began.

The bottom line, however, is that this isn’t normal or safe, not anymore, especially if the knot that’s been tying itself in his throat all day is any indication. And so Jaebum doesn’t tell Jinyoung to stop promising him they can stop at any time. Because part of Jaebum – a possibly very large part – needs to hear it.

The bed Jinyoung has him on is unbelievably soft, like one of the clouds Jaebum likes to imagine Jinyoung used to sit on in Heaven, even though he knows better. The sheets are clean and smooth, a sharp contrast to how Jaebum sees himself, and the beams above him are mahogany and hold up a large, diaphanous canopy; it’s the epitome of luxury and comfort, really. It’s not Jinyoung’s preferred hideout, but it fits the circumstances.

Jinyoung removes his own clothes before removing Jaebum’s and then kisses him for what feels like hours, worshipping every inch of skin he reveals as he slowly pulls Jaebum’s clothing off with his lips and fingers, tracing all his bumps and bruises. Jinyoung seems so in tune to his body, anticipating certain reactions and avoiding certain gestures like it’s second nature, like he’d always touched him that way.

“Breathe, Jaebum,” Jinyoung says at some point, gently, sounding more divine than he normally does, his eyes soft but not concerned, not yet. Jaebum hadn’t even realized he was holding his breath, but he inhales sharply when Jinyoung mentions it and Jinyoung kisses the corner of his mouth as if to reward him for it.

The weight between his legs makes him suck in air a little more quickly, but Jinyoung slants their mouths together and lets Jaebum take the lead, smiling against the kiss when Jaebum’s hands wander into his hair. Jaebum doesn’t really feel that bold, but he wants to and he hopes that his thoughts will follow his actions. He’s caught in between the conflicting need for familiarity and the fact that everything has changed, the desire to be strong and overcome and the instinct to turn tail and run.

  
He would give anything to be able to do this. Not for Jinyoung, but for himself. Jinyoung doesn’t need this; he does. He needs the evidence that he’s better. He needs to conquer the memories preventing him from living and loving as he normally might. He needs to take back his control from the _man_, to undo the effects of the c_age _ and his rape – he hasn’t been able to say the word out loud, nor has Jinyoung, but that’s what it was and they both know it – and just be alive again. But Jinyoung’s fingers against his entrance have every muscle in his body seizing. He tries to fight off the fire licking at the edges of his vision, tries to focus on Jinyoung and the fact that this is love between them, not power or violence. Jinyoung’s lips are sweet and warm against his neck, but it’s not enough. And oh God, what if it’s never enough?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while since I last updated so I hope you liked this chapter! Please leave some feedback!


	2. Chapter 2

“I can’t.”

Jaebum barely registers the fact that it’s his voice, broken and thick with exhausted horror. He doesn’t want to believe that he’s capable of sounding that weak, that destroyed, but then he feels hot, angry tears on his face and Jinyoung’s arms are wrapped around him in a quick flash, cocooning him while he murmurs comfortingly against his cheek. Jinyoung shifts almost imperceptibly, gracefully moving to straddle Jaebum’s waist and let him press his legs together, the tips of his knee brushing against Jaebum’s calves.

They’re dressed again and Jaebum hates the sense of relief that floods him. Soft, chaste kisses are pressed against his eyelids and his tightened jaw while Jinyoung’s thumbs smooth away the tears. It’s then he realizes that not only was that his voice, but he’s still talking, muttering half-terrified nonsense in response to Jinyoung’s quiet “you’re okay’s” and “you’re safe, I’m right here’s”.

When Jaebum manages to open his eyes again, he’s met with Jinyoung’s blackened irises. Jinyoung is obviously furious, his eyes the very picture of vengeance and wrath. Jaebum isn’t completely delusional; he knows that anger isn’t directed at him. Jinyoung could probably spend every night next Jaebum without any complaints. The fact that Jaebum can’t do this isn’t a source of frustration to him. Jaebum isn’t even sure he hates the man as much as Jinyoung does, although that might be because he just doesn’t have the energy anymore.

“I’ll kill him,” Jinyoung growls into the crook of Jaebum’s neck. It isn’t the first time Jaebum’s ever heard him encouraging violence, but Jaebum shudders anyway, his shoulders hunching defensively.

“Don’t,” he pleads, reaching a hand out to bring Jinyoung’s body closer, like a five-year old scrambling for a safety blanket, only this safety blanket presses closer to him on its own accord. “Don’t do that, I don’t want that, I-”

“Okay,” Jinyoung interrupts, his lips forming the words against Jaebum’s temple. “I’m sorry. No more, alright?”

Jinyoung tips them onto their sides and tucks Jaebum’s head under his chin, humming something that Jaebum thinks he might have heard in a church once, when he used to ask God for simple things like patience, wisdom, and the health of his family. He can barely remember the boy who would kneel in a pew and pray like it was that easy, like it might do any good. His breath hitches and Jinyoung takes those thoughts away, moving his fingers through Jaebum’s hair. He lets Jaebum press his forehead to his collarbone and just be still and regain control over his senses.

“God damn it,” Jaebum hisses when he’s finally caught his breath, turning his face into his pillow. He’s tired, so tired, and he thinks he hates no one more than he hates himself, for not being stronger, for not making the kinds of decisions that never would have led him here in the first place. He smacks his fist into his thigh before Jinyoung manages to catch his wrist.

“It’s okay, Jaebum,” Jinyoung promises, bringing Jaebum’s hand to his mouth to kiss his knuckles. “Hey, look at me. It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay,” Jaebum argues, although Jinyoung’s calm gaze steadies him, taking the edge out of his voice. “It’s not okay. I thought I could. I was so fucking sure.”

“We’ll try again. If you want to.” Jinyoung squeezes his hand, pulling his fist apart and coaxing him to relax, but Jaebum just shakes his head.

“I was sure,” he says again, quieter, confused.

“We’ll get there,” Jinyoung swears, his gaze so intense that Jaebum believes him for half a second. “You’ll get there. You’re strong, Jaebum. I know you don’t feel it, but I do.” He taps his temple with a crooked little smile, and even though Jaebum can’t return it, it helps. “I’ve known you for so long. You’re so, so strong.”

Jaebum doesn’t feel it. He’s not sure he’s capable of feeling it. But in that moment, Jinyoung seems to feel it enough for the both of them and Jaebum lets himself be held by that belief and by Jinyoung’s arms. It isn’t forgiving and it isn’t forgetting, but it’s rest. It’s peace. And it’s enough for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter! Please leave a comment!


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